9 Books That Changed My Life – No, To Kill a Mockingbird isn’t on the List

9 Books That Changed My Life

9 Books That Changed My Life

Let me warn you before you continue reading: To Kill a Mockingbird is not on the list.

My family is full of reluctant readers, avid readers, fanatical readers, anti-readers. We’re a mixture, like society at large. In fact I’m married to a man of action who reads magazines and articles online but not many books.

Books inform my parenting, they impact my marriage, they influence how I relate to my siblings and friends and coworkers. If you’re reading this, chances are you’re much the same.

That’s not to say I follow a manual to operate as a human on a daily basis. My way of being in the world is more influenced by the wisdom of my elders sprinkled with liberal dashes of quotes, ideas,  and anecdotes from trusted books, along with the occasional visual aid. Sometimes, I’m not even sure where I read something but I quote it anyway.

So how do ink, paper and glue actually transform a life?

The following books did one of these things for me:

  1. Instilled a love of the written word or a particular author
  2. Provided insight on human development, including my own
  3. Inspired risk-taking and change (aka living)
  4. Stuck with me

That a made-up story could evoke emotion and temporarily remove me from the everyday turned me into a reader.

Taming of the Shrew by William Shakespeare – I was an 8th grader from a blue collar family, and I was reading Shakespeare. I marveled at the double entendres, luxuriated in the language and understood the humor.  It made me believe I could operate in a world of books, it made me feel legit. Of course,  I came to realize and appreciate that some of the most well-read people, and definitely some of the most intelligent, do not have formal educations.

Anne of the Thousand Days by Maxwell Anderson – That same 8th grade year introduced me to the decadent world of the Tudors, political intrigue, murder, corruption, and told so much about the haves and have nots. This book was about discovery and adventure and betrayal and my own naivete. It shattered the myth of the happy ending.

The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough – Also in junior high and the first time I was lost in a thick, epic novel meant for adults. I would rush to finish chores and homework so I could get back to Maggie and her priest. That a made-up story could evoke emotion and temporarily remove me from the everyday turned me into a reader.

It was ok to seek, to question, and that both could be done without yelling

The Shining by Stephen King – The first time I was scared to death by ink on paper. Thrilling, intoxicating, foreboding. One of my favorite Stephen King-isms is that writing and reading are like ESP between the author and the reader. The writer is having these thoughts and then making you, the reader, think about what he wrote. This still gives me chills.

Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis – The first time I saw logic and prose used to discuss something as ephemeral as spirituality. Far from convincing me to be a believer or a non-believer, it taught me that it was ok to seek, to question, and that both could be done without yelling and poster boards.

Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar  by Cheryl Strayed – Occasionally timing determines impact. This was a cold splash of water at the start of midlife. Life is hard, wah wah wah…GET UP AND DO SOMETHING.

That’s a lot to ask of a story and it made me careful never to dismiss fiction as mere entertainment.

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D. – Thoughts = Your Reality. My thought patterns were laid bare in this book and I was shocked. Can you say clueless? Less a self-help tome, this is more a call to arms about how we educate our children and perpetuate labels, especially on ourselves. We can substantially improve in anything with the proper mindset. I keep this in the bathroom in case I forget. I read it like I brush my teeth, in furious little bursts.

Lord of the Flies by William Golding – Another junior high influencer. Golding’s novel about boys inhumanity to one another showed me that a fictional tale could legitimately impact how I as a human interacted with other humans in the real world. The story of these castaways, their crimes, their fears, and their kindnesses, entertained, horrified and made me think. That’s a lot to ask of a story and it made me careful not to dismiss all fiction as mere entertainment; though I’m a big fan of reading for the fun of it.

Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son’s First Year by Anne Lamott– I’ve decided to give the last slot to the first book I read by Anne Lamott. I read this the first time lying on my side, with my post-partum belly lying next to me like a little puppy (to paraphrase from one of my favorite passages). Reading her words slayed me. They made me identify, which is the point of all stories. They taught me about voice. They comforted me. It’s a skinny book and it pulled its weight. Maybe more importantly, this book introduced me to Lamott whose other books were instrumental in claiming the title of writer for myself. For that reason, this edges out a gazillion other novels, memoirs, or self-help books I could have listed.

Books not only changed my life, they inform my parenting, they impact my marriage, they influence how I relate to my siblings and friends and coworkers.

So that’s my list this week. It’s heavy on adolescent touchstones and mid-life signposts. These floated to the surface when I pondered today. If you were to ask me again next week, most likely the list would change.

What’s on your list? Share your life-changing books (include why) and I’ll put your name in a drawing for one of the books listed above or in the comments! But you’ve only got this week to do it. Please feel free to share and encourage others to comment for their chance to win.

P.S. Dirty little secret: I’m not opposed to having To Kill a Mockingbird on anyone’s list. It’s just that I never had to read it in school and I can’t remember if I’ve ever actually read the whole thing! Whew, that feels better. Glad I got that off my chest.

6 Thoughts on “9 Books That Changed My Life – No, To Kill a Mockingbird isn’t on the List

  1. Barbara Armstrong on March 25, 2016 at 7:02 am said:

    My favorite book was, as you know, Gone with the wind! It was my Thornbirds” of the day for me. I rushed home from my blue collar job and was transported to my heritage, and sooo much more. I was learning about how strong a woman could be, how wrong it is to think of only yourself, romance, history, and so much more. All from a novel. You put it soooo well !!!! XOXOXO

  2. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. It opened my inner eye, giving me the opportunity to see the reality of my life, not the fabrication I’d created.

  3. Wow, I love this. What great insights! Out of curiosity, have you reread any of these books (other than Mindset, which you mentioned)? Or was one reading enough?

    I think books inform most aspects of my life too. And I definitely agree that fiction is more than just entertainment. Making a list of special books is hard for me, though. I’m not sure why. Maybe because there are too many to remember. LOL. I’ll give this some thought, though!

    • Good question, Jennifer – Yes, I’ve re-read a few of them. Lord of the Flies was assigned to my children and I read along with them. The Shining I go back to every five or six years and just marvel at King’s ability to convey a mood, setting, personality quirk, etc. I’ve given away at least six copies of Tiny Beautiful Things to important people in my life. Just this weekend my son asked to borrow Mindset but I’ve made so many notes in my copy (plus it’s autographed by Dr. Dweck!) that I ran into a bookstore to pick up another for him.

      I agree it’s hard to narrow down the choices so I tend to pick what keeps floating to the surface and these all left indelible marks! Would love to hear yours 🙂

Why It’s Always This One Thing, And It Sucks



I was sitting in my car on my lunch hour last Wednesday and I couldn’t figure it out. Not only did I not think I could figure it out, I was convinced I would NEVER figure it out.

No, I wasn’t searching for a cure for cancer or even wondering where my next mortgage payment was coming from. My crisis was trying to put my main character’s want into a single sentence. That’s it. Earth shattering, right?

My eyes watered, I started breathing heavy, and finally climbed out of my car to walk it off. This writing thing was supposed to be fun. I’d been devoting hours and hours to it because I was finally admitting to myself it’s what I felt called to do.

And here I was, not working on the third in a series, not posting my NaNoWriMo word accumulation, not shouting on Facebook about my two book deal with Random House (no, Mom, there’s no deal . . . yet). I was struggling to come up with ONE . . . FREAKING . . . SENTENCE.

Here’s what I learned about the novel writing process last week:

  • The middle is hard.
  • Quitting is not an option.
  • You have to welcome ALL feedback and get tougher.

I found some inspiration in Heather Seller’s Chapter After Chapter:

What is really happening is a giant fear attack. you wish you were done—that it was good just like it is. You are scared to look at it again deeply, because you are afraid you’ll find hideous flaws . . . You are afraid you won’t know how to fix these things.

Some people call it writers block. Sometimes we think its our inner critic. Self-doubt. There’s only one thing wrong with any of us and there’s only one antidote.

Fear is the root of all the world’s problems and action is the only cure.

Maybe you’re 3 drafts in (or 4, like me) but have you really torn it apart? Or, are you just smoothing the edges? You just want to be done. But you’re not. You need more versions. It’s what writers do.

Suck it up, buttercup. (That’s me talking to myself . . . and you . . . if you needed that.)




2 Thoughts on “Why It’s Always This One Thing, And It Sucks

  1. I’ve had a short picked up by elephant journal that is about The End Result. Controlling it, wanting to control it and needing it to look like the picture in our heads. I’m on the 6th or 8th rendition (depending on who’s counting), of a memoir. I feel your pain/aggravation/desire, This thing we intend “I am a published author, my words are heard!”, is a fey witch who gathers us in with a sweet smile and then reveals the rocky road we must walk barefoot.

    • That’s exciting news, Deb! Congrats!! I received an acceptance last week on a piece I submitted in May. Then my fear was having it out in the public and it being judged. Even when we think we’ve captured the fey witch (love that by the way), she jabs us with her pointy wand. Onward. Onward. Nothing to do but go onward.