Are you one of those people?
Have you found a way to function in society—to get most of what you need and some of what you want—without infringing on, or repelling others?
If so, congratulations. It’s comforting to meet you and to know that there are still people that don’t assault, deride, or otherwise demean fellow humans.
But some of you need help.
In case you were misunderstood as a child, in case you didn’t have good examples to follow, consider these tips for getting along with others.
These are all things most of us learned by the time we got out of high school. But not all of us.
And let’s face it, times have changed. We have more opportunities to be asshole-y then ever before. (This is odd because we probably physically interact less than ever.)
Read on and try one or two of them:
Call your mother. Minimum once a week. If only once a week, do it on a Sunday.If your mother kept you alive and didn’t torture you, she deserves not to be left all alone on a Sunday.
Eat dinner with your family (your family can be puppies, a roommate, a gay lover, whomever) occasionally. No phones allowed.
Grow something outdoors. On a balcony, in a public garden, in your backyard. (Legally)
Watch your child’s sport event or musical performance, or any other activity. Watch them. Put your screen, newspaper, book away. They’re watching you and they see you NOT watching.
Quit multi-tasking. You suck at it. Unless you’re a parent making dinner and folding laundry—you, we salute.
Smile at people. Especially if you were just staring at them, visually assessing them and are caught. Do not just look away.
Learn how to merge. It’s a zipper people. First one car, then the next. Don’t be the second car trying to squeeze in.
Hold the door for people.
Say thank you to someone who held the door for you.
Send thank you notes. Actual real paper thank you notes with a stamp and everything.
Stop hitting “reply all” to your work emails. You don’t need to point the public finger when someone screws up, and no one wants to see the 37th email wishing someone “Happy Birthday.”
Read the entire post or article before commenting on it.
Don’t argue politics on social media.
Mind your own business about what other people wear, listen to, eat – unless they’re minor children under your direct supervision.
Introduce yourself to your neighbors.
Worry more about the environment and less about the number of syrup pumps in your latte.
Pay attention to your friends. If you’re lucky enough to see them in person, vow to keep your face out of a screen while you’re together.
Don’t shoot people.
Recognize that religion is private and personal.
Visit sick people in the hospital.
Dive in and help someone in crisis instead of telling them you’re there if they need you. Most people won’t ask for help.
Tip your server – even the incompetent ones.
Say please and thank you to those you love.
Encourage someone in your field. Look out for the new guy, mentor a youngster.
Celebrate your parents’ anniversaries.
Put yourself in someone else’s shoes (not literally).
Thank a public servant.
Don’t have sex with people who don’t or can’t say yes.
Be on time.
Return calls/texts/emails or reduce your social circle.
Teach your kids not to be assholes.
Don’t let your dog (cat, iguana, etc.) behave like an asshole.
If you mess up on any of these, apologize and try again.
Call your mother. Seriously!